ORGANS

ooooughghghghg.... this one punched me straight in the guts. I only did the good ending (sorry <3 I care about Asher and Kylian too much to do that to them haha) but it's a heartwrenchings tory about... anticipatory grief, or however you call what comes before death. 

I especially have to praise it because when it comes to terminal illness, it is so easy to go for the pity route; look at how sad this person is! Aren't you sad too? Isn't it terrible? But the story isn't that... cheap, if you know what I mean. Yes, what is happening is terrible. No, there are no solution. But while death is an oppressive ghost looming through the entire story, the characters aren't solely defined by it. There's the organ. There's food. There's school. Little tidbits to remind us that these characters are, well, characters, with their own lives and interests and mundane problems, not cardboard cutouts from a cancer pamphlet.

The music is baller, the art is real good (BIG fan of homie's sprite getting more and more tired as the story goes on) and it's a small detail, but I really like how the text box fades to indicate a timeskip, I thought it was very subtle and clever.

Anyways. [thumb up through tears] gay autism real. Let's play the organ brother. It's broken, and that's unfair, but we can still play. By god. We can still play.

i spent about an hour playing this game.
i really wanted to write a review honestly, and i just want to talk about the parts i enjoyed. there were just a few technical things that bothered me but they were easy to look past.
i enjoy writing reviews but i don't write a lot of them, so don't mind if the formatting is a little sloppy or strange.

the music.

as far as i could tell, there were only 2 tracks to the game. i would say they were very beautiful and ethereal. i spent a bit of time on the title screen at first just listening to the music, i vibed so hard honestly. very well done and powerful. so, props to sqwidwierd!

the characters.

asher and kylian are both very well written characters. i love them both in the time i got to know them in the game. definitely unknowingly neurodivergent and unknowingly queer. well- i feel like asher knows he's queer, and kylian seems like he could have a hunch but doesn't accept it (for obvious reasons) perhaps he doesn't understand what the feeling is in the first place, but knows that it is different.
they're friends that clearly love each other, platonically and maybe also romantically. on their own though they are still very solid characters.
asher is just a boy who wants to feel he belongs and share his love to those he can, even if he has trouble with expressing it sometimes, which can lead to others pushing him away.
kylian is just a boy who wants to keep on living and be loved closely and tenderly. he's just a boy who has been struggling for his whole life, who might feel as if everything he's done has led him no where. that his story is being cut short by the very being he's told made it. of course that would make him feel unwanted or hated, if his own creator wanted to 'discard' him.

you can catch a glimpse inside their minds with everything they do. i mean, in asher's case, we quite literally get a glimpse inside his head, of course.

the story.

this is a game about love, and acceptance. honestly very beautiful and touching.

the good ending is what i got first. it brought tears to my eyes, and bittersweet joy to my heart knowing asher could be there for kylian when no one else seemed to be. i hope they got to spend at least one more day at the church together, with ky playing out his heart like he's always so loved to do.
i played through a second time to get the bad ending (i knew i 'had to' but god i did NOT want to, especially after such a nice and fulfilling ending). i chose all the options i hadn't before, and honestly...poor ky. he deserved to get his feelings out and play the organ at least ONE last time. makes my heart so sad honestly.

conclusion.

in the end, kylian doesn't get to live on. his god doesn't suddenly save him when the game ends. he knew he was going to die and i'm sure the moments before his death were very painful for everyone, as awful as it is to think about.
we know he's gone, and like the characters, we enjoyed our time with him, no matter how short. and like asher, we didn't blame him for the times he raised his voice, or when he was doing something we knew he shouldn't, or whatever else. what we remember is the person he was while we knew him. a person filled with joy, and whimsy, and astonishment, and so much more.

this game was very touching.
i hope this review brings someone the same amount of appreciation as it gave me.
have a nice day everyone, and remember to share your love with your friends. good days always come, and there's always time to stop and smell the pansies.